Your Needs in the Relationship – an exercise

Young African-American couple at odds and bad mood not talking with each other and looking away after heated argument

If you feel that you and your partner are not as connected as you’d prefer, are not headed in the same direction (either short-term or long-term), are not seeing eye-to-eye, or may not be a good continued fit, you may consider this exercise to examine your place in the relationship, your desires, and your goals for the future of the relationship. If you both do the exercise and discuss it, it may lead to increased awareness of your goals; be aware that this may not be a harmonious discussion.

Are your needs being met in your relationship? What are those needs? Some examples may be related to physical needs, emotional needs, and/or spiritual needs. Your topics may vary. Here is a sample outline:

  • Physical
    • Safety
    • Intimacy
  • Emotional
    • Safety
      • Financial
      • Boundaries
      • Trust
      • Privacy
    • Socialization
    • Communication
    • Intimacy
    • Progress
  • Spiritual
    • Understanding/respect of each other’s beliefs
    • Services or celebrations
    • Future goals

Here’s an article that fleshes the topics out in more detail.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Florida, Georgia, Nevada, and Virginia. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on Twitter & Facebook.