Trusting After a Betrayal

Relationship DifficultiesWhen a spouse cheats, there can be the thought of “I should have known” by the betrayed party. The person may feel foolish or blind and doubt his/her ability to move forward with trust.

Trust is a concept without form. Assessment is a skill we constantly use. However, trust is conceptual and an illusion.

Imagine that you are to hire someone for a job. You do so and the applicant filled out the resume while leaving off several jobs from which he/she had been fired, not mentioning regular drug use, or a history of workplace violence.

Based on the information provided, you assessed the situation and moved forward accordingly.

When sometime later you find out the hidden information, you will assess them differently with this new body of knowledge. Whether you work with or fire the employee depend on many factors and is your choice.

Will you ever see the employee as being free of that history? Certainly not; that would not make sense. Can the employee change? Absolutely; people change constantly. You will automatically bring the new information about the employee into your awareness and assess them on an ongoing basis based on their continuing behaviors.

Your powers of assessment are just fine and always have been. You were merely given misinformation from which to make the assessment. There is nothing to be done with regard to trust or assessment beyond what you have always been doing.

For individual therapy or couples’ counseling after a betrayal without judgment, call for an appointment at 954-612-9553.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on TwitterFacebook, and Google+. Sign up for the e-newsletter HERE.

User Manual – Guest Blog by Julie Davis, LMFT

0julieA friend called me the other day raving about the new gadget that she had saved for, shopped for, invested in, and finally owned. Two weeks later I asked her about it:

“It’s too complicated. I can’t figure out how to make it work.”

“What about the User Manual?” I suggested.

“I don’t have the time. I’m just going to get rid of it.”

Unfortunately, I find this to be a similar way of thinking in many relationships:

Continue reading “User Manual – Guest Blog by Julie Davis, LMFT”

Your Money Story – guest blog by Stephanie Steen


It is one of those things in life that people both love and hate!

Unfortunately, money can negatively impact both your physical and mental health. Being in debt and missing payments can cause physical health problems such as ulcers and can affect depression and chronic stress. Even if you are not in debt, money can be a burden on your life and your relationship.

That is because you enter adulthood with a money story. Your money story can change and develop as you find your place in the world.

So what exactly is a money story?

Your money story is how you look at and react to different financial situations. It is based on how you grew up and the struggles or benefits you had.

To start writing your money story think about:

  • What was your family’s financial status growing up?
  • Did you get the things you needed or were there times you went without?
  • Did your family have an extreme increase or decrease (lost job or inheritance)?
  • What did your family teach you about money?
  • What is your current relationship with money?
  • What about money now makes you feel positive or negative?
  • What do you feel money can buy?
  • Write a paragraph about money and see what pops up.

Your money story affects your mental health when your life is not congruent to the thoughts you have about money.

Let’s say for example your money story includes growing up with a decent amount of money. You had everything that you needed plus most of what you wanted. Your parents prided themselves on being able to provide. You saw that your parents worked hard, but maybe you did not see them very often because of that.

As an adult raising a family you now struggle with making money and balancing that with having a family. You live paycheck to paycheck. You struggle with wanting to make more money and wanting to be home. Your struggles come from the incongruency in your life and your story.

Recognizing your money story can help you understand the stress you feel. It is a starting point to dive into what is most important and begin to accept or change where you are.

Stephanie Steen, Registered Mental Health Counseling Intern is a therapist in Melbourne FL. She works with women who are in the middle of a major life transition (divorce, loss of job) and helps them to see the light at the end of the tunnel so they can begin living authentically again. She shares tips on regaining happiness on her Facebook Page and website.  

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on TwitterFacebook, and Google+. Sign up for the e-newsletter HERE.