When we make something important we attach meaning and value to it. Often, this leads to problems. Let’s say you feel it is important to work on your thesis, to exercise, or to spend time with your kids. What if that doesn’t happen today? What if you get bogged down with other stuff and it just gets missed? In steps guilt. Guilt is how primitive mind communicates “hurry up and do that now” even when there’s a timing glitch of “there’s nothing to do because that time has passed.”
So the next day,you assign even more importance to the thing. You say “today will be different because I really need to do…” whatever it was. So today comes and you spend energy thinking about that important thing. You think about doing it, but you don’t do it.
Do you know why you didn’t do it? You got blocked. Mind blocked the action because it seemed so important that it attached a value of danger. Continue reading “Nothing is Important”
Watching clients transform is my favorite thing!
One morning, I covered for a colleague who does talk therapy while that therapist was out on vacation. The clients cannot be rescheduled as they are court mandated to attend. I had an hour with a client whom I had never met, and thus had no rapport to begin with; we were starting as strangers. Having covered this population for the colleague previously, I expected that she would merely want to chat the hour down and get her credit for being where she needed to be; but I was wrong.
I introduced myself and asked if she had anything she wanted to get done or just wanted to kill down the clock. She said “actually, there is something.” “Oh, great! What’s up?” She discussed her feelings of guilt and shame over having been away from her children while incarcerated and feeling somewhat removed from them now that she was back in their lives. Continue reading “40 Minute Guilt Session”