When I am overwhelmed, like thinking about war and climate change and politics, global issues that I have little to no control over, I am zoomed too far out. I’m looking at life through a telescope. I’m needing to change the focus to what is now, here in front of me, that I can change or have control over.
When I’m obsessing, like thinking about day-to-day stressors and my to-do list and all the little pieces that seem to need my attention, I am zoomed too far in. I’m looking at life through a microscope. I’m needing to change the focus to what is now, that I can accomplish and check off, that I can move in the priority if necessary.
I challenge you to change your focus. Notice if you are zoomed too far in or out, and move to a more comfortable middle ground. This is a skill and takes practice, so assume that the lens is going to get out of focus sometimes, and that’s okay, but it is also adjustable and you have the ability to adjust it to be comfortable for you.
Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Florida, Georgia, Nevada, New York, and Virginia. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on Twitter & Facebook.
Q. What causes clinical depression?
A. Chemical imbalance.
Surprised by the simplicity of the answer? Were you expecting a list of things like: death of a loved one, change of circumstances, lack of resources, inability to participate in previously enjoyable activities, illness, and so forth? Certainly, a feeling Continue reading “Depression: Common NOT Normal”→
Shopping for the holidays puts many people under additional stress: from spending money they don’t have, to long wish lists from kids or family members, to the time it takes to fulfill these desires-turned-demands.
My first suggestion is to trim your gift-giving list. In our family, we went from buying presents for 15 people to just the kids, which was initially 4, and grew to be 6, but is still much more reasonable. Also, my husband and I don’t exchange gifts as we take a trip for our anniversary the next month, and his birthday is right around Christmas, so he gets a birthday gift, which is usually an experience (comedy club, weekend trip, performing arts event).
We cannot control others. You’ve heard this. The good news is: we don’t have to! We need only control our response to others, which is totally doable.
There are always going to be people cutting us off in traffic, people talking down to us, people undervaluing our work, and those who don’t believe in us. We need not give them any more of our attention than the bare minimum, but we need to categorize their words and actions as “theirs” and “not mine.” Continue reading “Not Mine- Reframing Technique”→
The holidays are full blown upon us. So much I have been forgetting to post here on my little blog…
Let me begin with I hope your holidays are wonderful- filled with smiles and laughter!
Let’s get real though, holidays tend to be slightly if not full blown stressful. How about some suggestions for managing that?
Schedule time for yourself FIRST!! We are all different in the down time we require, but we all require some down time. Schedule that FIRST before anything else. Schedule time to just read, crochet, meditate, what ever your down time requires.
Set a limit on your budget and stick to it as best you can. Believe me I get it. I have one child and I’d LOVE to spend tons of money on her this time of year; and her birthday falls in the realm of the holidays as well. I limit it though. We also have a set amount of what we spend on others and we stick to that as best we can too. (Yes I’m human, yes I break the rules sometimes too. It’s OK! Just stay out of bankruptcy when it comes to presents!!!)
This is a tad too late but one thing find that eliminates most of my holiday stress is getting the present shopping done EARLY. Yep my shopping is 95% done by November. I grab things as they go on sale and as I find them through out the year. You will NEVER catch me shopping on Black Friday. That’s land me on some serious psychiatric medications. I know it’s a fun thing for some but not me.
If there are some toxic relatives or friends that you will be around during the holidays limit your time with them. Keep conversations short and sweet. Keep actual face to face time short and sweet. Sometimes that means just move to another room and hang with someone else, sometimes that means shorten your time actually there.
As crazy as you may think this is…lower your expectations. Due to society, the media what ever we have this idea that the holidays are supposed to be perfect and amazing. Get real! We are spending holidays with people who have their own issues and those issues come right out when around others and let’s be real here many holidays come with alcohol. Alcohol doesn’t help either. Did you ever see that skit from Mad TV’s “Lowered Expectations?”
Watch what you eat and get some exercise. Seriously!! Food greatly effects our moods. And exercise creates endorphins. Endorphins make us feel better. Exercise relieves stress, less stress more tolerance for stress….it’s a win win. I possibly exercise more during the holidays than any other time. I get out and walk, if I’m out of town and there’s an in-door pool at the hotel I swim laps. I get my kiddo out with me too.
That being said get outside if it’s possible!! Pet your pets. Take the dog for a walk….
There ya go…some things to ponder.
So Be Well, be Joyful!
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Contact Tara for a consultation at 573-754-0348. Read more at her Blog and follow her on Facebook.
Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+. Sign up for the e-newsletter HERE.
When we make something important we attach meaning and value to it. Often, this leads to problems. Let’s say you feel it is important to work on your thesis, to exercise, or to spend time with your kids. What if that doesn’t happen today? What if you get bogged down with other stuff and it just gets missed? In steps guilt. Guilt is how primitive mind communicates “hurry up and do that now” even when there’s a timing glitch of “there’s nothing to do because that time has passed.”
So the next day,you assign even more importance to the thing. You say “today will be different because I really need to do…” whatever it was. So today comes and you spend energy thinking about that important thing. You think about doing it, but you don’t do it.