Why me? and It’s not fair.

person walking in rain with red umbrella at night

When a traumatic event happens, most people are left with the question “Why me?” and the feeling of “It’s not fair.” What do you do with those and how do you move beyond the stuck feeling they leave you?

It’s not fair. No, it’s not. Much of real life isn’t fair and this thing is also not fair. There’s no making it fair. There’s no making it right. It was a terrible thing and it doesn’t have to be better or make sense or fit in with an idealized version of reality. Some things just suck and this is one of them. It’s okay that this is how it went down. Fighting the unfairness of it is futile. Allow it to be unfair and you’ll stop coming up against this obstacle.

Why me? No reason, or maybe some reason that isn’t useful to speculate. People do terrible things. Sometimes they’re terrible people, and sometimes not, but done is done. It sucks that it happened to you. Crappy things happen to people all the time and you’re one of the people that had a crappy thing (or series of crappy things) happen to them. Spending your energy trying to solve this is a wasted time.

I get that that this doesn’t sound positive or hopeful. I’m not trying to be a ray of sunshine as I think that’s too far from the truth and wouldn’t be useful anyhow. If you are throwing yourself against these walls and stuck on them, the way past them is through understanding that they don’t have to be fixed to be understood. This is only one piece of the healing, but it’s a crucial piece if its a place where you’re repeatedly finding yourself.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Florida, Georgia, and Virginia. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on Twitter & Facebook.

Be Here Now

Have you been feeling unmoored from your body, your sense of self, or your life? Do you feel adrift, unhinged, untethered, or in need of grounding? Have you been spinning out of control in your thoughts and unable to gain traction?

Try this mantra: “Be here now.” But say it like each word is a sentence: Be. Here. Now.

With each word, do it.

Be. Be in your body. Notice your body, the weight of it, the position it is in, the feeling of any fabric or material on your skin, and any movement of the air.

Here. In this place. Where you are, with anything you can notice around you, eyes open or closed. Engage your senses: see, hear, smell, taste, feel – to notice absolutely anything.

Now. In this moment, the only moment that exists, present as best you can, eliminating thoughts of past and future as best you can right now. It might be difficult and that’s okay; just do your best and reset and reset again if you need to.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Florida, Georgia, and Virginia. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on Twitter & Facebook.

Winter Blues

Winter landscape branches form a heart-shaped pattern

Clients at my practice have shown an increase in depressive symptoms in the past month. This is typical for this time of year. The decrease in sunlight causes the Winter Blues, or technically, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

Our brains are dependent on chemicals from sunlight to create the happy chemicals. You may have noticed you are feeling more: sad, irritable, grumpy, touchy, or frustrated this month. If this is you, make an effort to get more sunlight. Sit outside during lunch. Go for a short walk before work. Anywhere you can get an extra 20-40 minutes of sunlight will be an improvement.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Florida, Georgia, and Virginia. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on Twitter & Facebook.

Talk About Mental Health

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by Beatrice the Biologist

For hundreds of years, mental health has long been talked about in hushed tones.

Is it any wonder, when we started out treating it as possession by evil spirits? Ancient skulls have been found with holes knocked in them to let out the demons. If this was the method of treatment, I’d keep any abnormal thoughts to myself, too, to avoid having to “get better” that way. Continue reading “Talk About Mental Health”

Get Better Today

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That’s me in a session, at my old office.

A little background: At this point, I’ve been specializing in clearing trauma for over a decade. I studied psychology for my entire 7-year college education. Point is: I’ve been at this awhile and am trained in making people well; but, I’m also trained in making people well, whole, happy, and doing it FAST!

I’m a Certified Practitioner in Continue reading “Get Better Today”

Depression: Common NOT Normal

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Q. What causes clinical depression?
A. Chemical imbalance.

Surprised by the simplicity of the answer? Were you expecting a list of things like: death of a loved one, change of circumstances, lack of resources, inability to participate in previously enjoyable activities, illness, and so forth? Certainly, a feeling Continue reading “Depression: Common NOT Normal”

SPD in Adults

Am I Normal?I was never diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) as a child. Although Sensory Integration Dysfunction (it’s predecessor) was coined in 1972, I didn’t learn about it until 2013, while having dinner with two colleagues who work with children. Upon hearing about the symptoms, I identified with many of them, asked my colleagues many questions, and took a quiz to self-diagnose. Fascinating stuff. It explained many things about my childhood and adult life.

You can watch a video Continue reading “SPD in Adults”

Being Calm in Depression or Anxiety

DandelionI’ve been going through a depressive episode for some months now. I’m taking antidepressants because it feels chemical, like PMS, as symptoms come on in waves. I’ve been steadily seeing my doctor and we have upped my dosage once, about a month ago. It feels relatively stable, or it did, until the election, which put me into somewhat of a tailspin.

This morning, I was watching Netflix, and began to feel as if I could not get enough breath. I knew, logically, that I was breathing and was fine. But the underlying feeling of despondency was giving me that physical feeling. It felt different than anxiety (and I’ve had just 2 panic attacks in my life time), but had similar features.

Ever the scientific-minded me, I said, “What would you tell a client who came in with this item?” Continue reading “Being Calm in Depression or Anxiety”

Entrepreneurs face Anxiety, Fear

0plateIn September, 2013, Inc. Magazine‘s Jessica Bruder discusses the issues that entrepreneurs face with regard to mental illness. They often suffer from depression, anxiety, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), or bipolar disorder. Entrepreneurs are often swept up in new ideas and bouts of creativity that are actually mania or can mirror the symptoms of mania or hypomania. When followed by doubt in their business or product, failure to see growth, failure to make certain incomes, or not achieving certain markers of success, there can be depressive feelings. If these phases cycle, it can mimic bipolar disorder, or be an expression of bipolar disorder. Anxiety is often found in the entrepreneur as he/she worries about product launch, deadlines, and if the business is “good enough” to be a hit. The tendency to jump form one part of the project to the next is often a marker for ADHD and adults with ADHD will gravitate toward work that allows them to function in time with their brain chemistry. Continue reading “Entrepreneurs face Anxiety, Fear”

The Chiropractic Model of Therapy

0brainTherapy is best served in a model like that of chiropractors.

Imagine you’ve strained your neck.

  1. When you are in acute physical pain, you come in for several sessions close together until relief is gained, usually over a week or two. Let’s say this is 3 times the first week and 2 times the second week.
  2. Now that your pain is moderate, but no longer limiting your range of movement, you come once a week for a few weeks until the pain is minimal. Let’s say this is 3 sessions over 3 weeks.
  3. Once that neck pain is minimal, but still present, you come less often until it is gone. Maybe this is a visit every 2 weeks twice and then every 3 weeks once.
  4. Once the pain is gone, the injury may still be present in the form of swelling or a ligament out of place or some misalignment in the vertebrae, so you come once a month twice and then every 3 months twice to finish the adjustment.
  5. The body is adjusted, and you follow up every 6-12 months just to check that all is well, provided nothing new is hurting the neck. Of course, if you have a new injury, you begin again on that area of the body.

Continue reading “The Chiropractic Model of Therapy”