Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Arbor Day

Holidays are conflicted for many people. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, in particular, are especially hard because of the complicated relationships we often have with our parents, our children, our grandparents, and the history of those days. It can be painful to see commercials celebrating seemingly perfect parent-child relationships, receive texts and calls, and feel obligated to see family.

Here’s the solution: Treat these days like Arbor Day. You know, Arbor Day, when you’re supposed to…worship trees like a druid? Plant trees? I don’t know. But we never even notice it passing on the calendar. Let this be that. Take those texts in like “Happy Arbor Day!” and those invitations like “Let’s celebrate Arbor Day together” oh, no thanks. Switch the words in your head and eliminate some of the heaviness.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Florida, Georgia, Nevada, New York, and Virginia. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on Twitter & Facebook.

On Victim Blaming

The only people who rape are rapists. Full stop.

If an attractive person, without a stitch of clothing on, appeared in front of you, I would hope that your reaction would be to get that person to safety, offering a way to cover them, and the ability to get to a place where they will be okay. If your first reaction is to attempt to have sex with them, this is problematic behavior.

This sounds like farce, right? But if you listen to victim blaming, they will say “If they weren’t dressed like that” or “if they weren’t in that place” or “if they were sober at the time” as justification for rape.

At no time, would I consider forcing or coercing someone to have sex with me. I hope that is true for you, also. That makes us not rapists! If someone were not sober, were dressed scantily, and/or were in a place that was unsafe, I would, and I hope you would, get them to safety as your first order of business.

Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Florida, Georgia, Nevada, New York, and Virginia. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on Twitter & Facebook.

Exposure Therapy is Harming Our Vets

0vetThis post is intentionally controversial. Rather, this post asserts my position firmly and you’re welcome to disagree with me.

A 2013 episode of 60 Minutes discussed treatments being used to treat trauma (PTSD) in veterans. I am disgusted at re-traumatization as a “cure.” If you were raped, would you want to relive rape until you were desensitized or would you rather an alternative that worked faster and involved none of that painful reliving? Continue reading “Exposure Therapy is Harming Our Vets”

Good Kids; Yes, Even Yours

0Bubble_Wrap_Your_Kid_Cover_for_KindleAvoid arguments with your child and encourage compliance by scaling the number of choices down by the age and stage of your child. For children under 10, 2 options will be sufficient. Lay out tomorrow’s clothes and ask, “Would you rather wear the brown pants or the green ones?” As your child ages, so do the decisions. “Would you rather have the Spiderman backpack or the Dora one?”

Set a pattern for narrowing things down to 2 choices and choosing between them. This helps to avoid arguments Continue reading “Good Kids; Yes, Even Yours”

Anxiety in Others

00micQuestion: How can I enjoy my visit with my friend, who is often plagued by anxiety so badly that he makes plans, but then can’t or won’t leave the house? On past trips, I’ve been so frustrated by his seeming ambivalence to go out with me that I’ve wanted to leave early. I’ve gotten angry and upset and it ruined my visit. I want to have a different experience this time, but don’t know if things will be any different on his part.

Answer: Reframe the situation. Continue reading “Anxiety in Others”

The Worst Thing About Being a Therapist

0drownFor me, the worst thing about being a therapist is seeing people in pain who are not  yet willing or ready to make a change. This includes people who resonate with the following statements:

  • I don’t think change is possible.
  • I’ve had these symptoms so long, they must be permanent.
  • Therapy can only take me so far.
  • Therapy hasn’t fixed it before, so it can’t.
  • I am my diagnosis.
  • If I’m not sick/mentally ill/in pain, who am I?

These statements are all arguable because the right therapy, the right techniques and therapist for an individual can overcome all of that. Continue reading “The Worst Thing About Being a Therapist”

Communicating with Infants

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My Mom always treated children like tiny people, because they are. With your infant, when in doubt, do the following, according to my Mom.

My Mom loves babies, both my parents do. Mom always said, babies can’t talk, but they want to, so they cry. And when they cry, do the following, in this order: Continue reading “Communicating with Infants”

Being Out in an Unaccepting Family

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In a therapists’ group I belong to, someone asked what to say to a teenager who had recently come out to their family, but the family was unable to accept the information. I can only speak for myself:

The world is a tough place. It would be nice if we all “got it” that everyone is just trying to get through their day and feel love and support, and wouldn’t it be nice if we all provided that love and support to one another? But it’s not so. For most people, you can turn a blind eye and walk away. but for some people, you have to learn to work within their system. For a teenager, living at home, this is certainly the case. Continue reading “Being Out in an Unaccepting Family”