3 AM hits different. No distractions. Just you, the ceiling, and the weight of everything that’s gone wrong—failed ventures, empty accounts, broken confidence.
This is where most people quit.
But this? This is where comebacks are born.
I know because I’ve been there. No safety net. No backup plan. Just pressure, shame, and one brutal question:
“Do I quit—or do I get up?”
If you’re staring at rock bottom, hear me: You’re not done. You just don’t have the answers yet.
And that’s okay.
When Belief Is All You’ve Got
Desperation changes you. No savings. No favors. No margin for error. Logic says, walk away. The world says, you’re not built for this.
But there’s another voice—quiet, stubborn, unkillable.
It doesn’t promise success. It doesn’t give you a plan. It just says: “Get up. Do something. Today.”
That’s not motivation. That’s survival.
Comebacks don’t start with confidence. They start with movement. One decision. One action. One refusal to stay down.
When everything’s stacked against you, don’t try to win the year. Win the next five minutes—before fear talks you out of it.
Failure Is the Forge
Resilience isn’t a gift. It’s built.
Every loss—repos, foreclosures, betrayals, bankruptcy—hits like a hammer. But if you let it, it reshapes you.
Here’s what failure taught me:
Bankruptcy kills ego. It forces you to rebuild on truth, not image.
Betrayal sharpens instincts. You learn who deserves access—and who doesn’t.
Hard times reveal the real fight. It’s never about money. It’s your mindset.
Every time you get up when quitting feels justified, you get stronger. This isn’t punishment—it’s training.
You’re not being buried. You’re being forged.
How Comebacks Are Made
There’s no secret. No shortcut. Just fundamentals.
1. Own the Damage
Shame keeps you stuck. Ownership sets you free.Your scars aren’t weaknesses—they’re proof you survived. Stop hiding them. They’re your power.
2. Win the First Move
Before the world hits you, anchor yourself. One thought:“I’m not broken. I’ll find a way.”Momentum starts small—but it compounds.
3. Take the Next Step
Forget the mountain. Focus on the next step.Get out of bed. Make the call. Send the email. Do the work.Big turnarounds are built from small, ugly actions done in the dark.
This Is Where It Turns
You don’t need clarity. You don’t need confidence. You don’t need permission.
You just need to hold the belief long enough to move.
I’ve been broke, broken, written off. More than once. And I’m telling you—it’s possible. Not because it’s easy. Because you can choose not to quit.
The pain you’re in isn’t the end. It’s the raw material for what’s next.
Stand up. Shake it off. Take the step.
That choice—the refusal to stay down—is how impossible comebacks are made.
Class in session. -KTR
Kevin T. Robertson, Public Speaker Reposted from SpeakerFocus.com, originally posted on 12/14/25
Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Nevada, New York, and Virginia. Call 407-494-5280 for a consultation. Follow Clear Mind Group on Twitter & Facebook.
Design composed of girl profile colorful fractal butterfly patterns and abstract lights on the subject of beauty creativity and imagination
I have ADHD. I’m sure I’ve always had it, but got diagnosed at 40 because I was tired of working so hard when focusing on things seemed easy for others. Since then, I’ve been on a daily medication, that helps quite a bit. I can focus on one thing for 90 minutes, which was nearly impossible before.
When you have symptoms of any disorder, or medical condition, that is your obstacle to overcome. Some things are overcome by medicine, others habits or routines, and some things will just be a struggle. But it is yours to overcome, and not an excuse for a lack of trying.
For example, let’s say you have asthma. Running a marathon may be a poor choice for you, and you should work with your body to do what makes sense. But if running a marathon was your life’s ambition, you might discuss it with your doctor, work up the stamina to run longer distances over time, and still carry your rescue inhaler. Your obstacle to work around is sustained lung capacity – which your body may or may not tolerate.
Since this is a mental health blog, let’s say instead that you have bipolar disorder which causes your mood to be both depressed then elevated with impulsivity. One way to balance that out is a mood stabilizer. You might also track your mood in a journal or on an app so you are prepared for when the manic phase is coming. Since you are impulsive when manic, you might give your credit cards to a trusted person during those days so you don’t overspend. Your obstacle is to work around the impulsivity and know when the manic phase will be arriving by tracking your mood.
Back to my ADHD example, I hate a task before a task. It takes an amount of executive function to begin a task that can be difficult to summon, so putting another in the way is frustrating and can make me want to quit. I know that my medication starts to wear off by 7pm, so I do well to get those high-executive-function tasks out of the way before then. A way this often comes up is in cleaning the cat box. I have to sweep the hall and laundry room of cat litter before I can get to the box. Sometimes I have to only sweep, and come back later to do the box. I can’t just not clean the box, so blaming ADHD is insufficient. I have to work around the obstacle of task-before-a-task frustration by separating it into two discrete tasks, and doing it before it is late in the evening.
Everyone has different obstacles, even within the same symptoms or diagnoses. That’s why cookie-cutter therapy does not work. We have to determine, for you, your obstacles, and how to help you work around them with grace.
Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Nevada, New York, and Virginia. Call 407-494-5280 for a consultation. Follow Clear Mind Group on Twitter & Facebook.
If someone could just feel better, they would. For everyone else, there’s therapy. Telling people to think positively is as ridiculous as telling someone to “Just wish your broken arm away.” Positivity becomes toxic when it fails to account for the reasoning or dismisses the person’s feelings. Sometimes, the vibe is just bad, and that’s okay, too. We don’t have to be happy all the time. Perhaps the meaning of life is to feel everything; either way, life has highs and lows. We need to learn to cope with the lows and get through them without self-destructing or exploding, but we can honor the part of us that is hurting, too – and we can honor that in others, allowing them the space to get through the hard times with our support, not our positivity.
The mind is negatively skewed to ensure our safety. If we think the stick is a snake, we will be wary, but if we always assume it is a stick, sometimes we will be bitten. We’re meant to think negatively, but that does not mean we are meant to be depressed or to remain in a low state. There is a reason or a time for being down, and a reason and a time for being up. Getting back up can be hard, but it is practical. In an up-state, a good vibes time, we can appreciate things in a way that we cannot in a depression. If this is too difficult to do alone, there is therapy, medication, hospitalization, outpatient programs, exercise, music, sunshine, and a balanced diet. Balance is difficult to find, but you can do it. I, for one, am here to help.
Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Nevada, New York, and Virginia. Call 407-494-5280 for a consultation. Follow Clear Mind Group on Twitter & Facebook.
Have you been wanting to have a more structured day, create a different routine, or add in something you can’t find time for, like regular exercise? Me too. I’m using Daylight Savings Time to kick that off, and you can, too.
Usually, I get up at 9 (I’m not a morning person), pee, wash my face, feed the cats, eat, and get ready for work. Now that we did “fall behind” last weekend, my body is used to getting up at what was 9am, and is now 8am. I took advantage of that last night by preparing for this morning; I set my alarm for 8. I spent about a half hour “wasting time” laying in bed, waking slowly, petting a cat, then got up and started my day. By 9, I was in exercise clothes and leaving my house. I went for a little walk, listened to a podcase, and was home by 930 (also have a phone alarm set so I’ll get home in time), to shower, eat, and get ready for work. Thankfully, I have no commute.
There was nothing difficult about that. I don’t believe resolutions have to start with the New Year, and you can make a change any time. Use what is convenient, like not shifting your sleep schedule, to start where you are at.
Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Nevada, New York, and Virginia. Call 407-494-5280 for a consultation. Follow Clear Mind Group on Twitter & Facebook.
A piece of jargon that gets gets wrong (wrongly?) is “trigger warning.” Triggers are things that remind the nervous system of a negative past event. The system responds as if the bad thing is happening, and this can be confusing, because the logical and rational mind knows the bad thing is not happening, but the subconscious part says “similar is same” and responds. This happens to protect us from further harm.
It is impossible to warn that something is a trigger as one has no idea what will trigger a person if they have not disclosed their triggers. A trigger can be a scene, like rape or war, or someone’s appearance, the way the light hits an object, the way a person moves, speaks, holds their head, or walks. These triggers may be unknown even to the triggered person because it’s happening that deeply.
Content, by contrast, is a scene that may be a trigger to big groups of people, like war or rape, violence, gore, vehicular crashes, or animal cruelty. So content can be triggering, but is not necessarily so.
I like that people use content warnings. I’m a person who likes horror movies, but I don’t like gore, animal cruelty, or gratuitous violence. None of these things, however, are trauma triggers to me; I just dislike them. I like that people are trying to do well by others by labeling things with warnings and I appreciate the efforts. I do, however, want to provide some additional education that you’re not doing the thing you intend with that particular label.
TL;DR: Trigger warnings are impractical, but content warnings are useful.
Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Nevada, New York, and Virginia. Call 407-494-5280 for a consultation. Follow Clear Mind Group on Twitter & Facebook.
Holidays are conflicted for many people. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, in particular, are especially hard because of the complicated relationships we often have with our parents, our children, our grandparents, and the history of those days. It can be painful to see commercials celebrating seemingly perfect parent-child relationships, receive texts and calls, and feel obligated to see family.
Here’s the solution: Treat these days like Arbor Day. You know, Arbor Day, when you’re supposed to…worship trees like a druid? Plant trees? I don’t know. But we never even notice it passing on the calendar. Let this be that. Take those texts in like “Happy Arbor Day!” and those invitations like “Let’s celebrate Arbor Day together” oh, no thanks. Switch the words in your head and eliminate some of the heaviness.
Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Nevada, New York, and Virginia. Call 407-494-5280 for a consultation. Follow Clear Mind Group on Twitter & Facebook.
There can be a strong adherence to the old way of thinking when it comes to gender being binary, and the social trend of transgender people expressing their gender through hormone replacement therapy (HRT), surgeries, living as their preferred gender, and use of pronouns that more accurately fit their gender. Not only do we see this in transgender people, but also non-binary, gender-queer, and intersex people. What are all these terms? Is it relevant that we allow, or encourage, someone to follow their preference? The short answer is “yes.” And maybe it would sway you to know that it is much more complicated than binary gender and preference.
Gender is not sexuality. When it comes to discussing any of these gender issues, I want to be clear that we are not simultaneously discussing sexuality. Any person of any gender can be any sexuality, so these are two separate issues. This article will not address sexuality as to help keep the issue clear.
What is a transgender person? Did I say that right? A person who is transgender is a person who was born into a body that is not the one that feels right and true to them. (If you are a person who is not transgender, you are cisgender.) Some people take action to make their body conform to the one that they feel they should have gotten. This can be done through HRT (hormones that change the endocrine system’s response), surgery, or dressing differently. They may also use different pronouns than those they were assigned. These people are either assigned male at birth (AMAB) and feel that is incorrect, or assigned female at birth (AFAB) and feel that is incorrect. If they desire to change their gender, modern technology and science allows that to happen to varying extents depending on when they start hormonal treatments. Starting treatment before puberty can help a person to “pass,” or look more like, their chosen gender by not having gone through the puberty of the body they were assigned. This matter is currently being hotly debated and voted on in politics by people who often don’t even bother to read the bills they are voting on. Some people who are transgender do not go on HRT because of medical conditions, an adverse reaction once starting them, fear of the physical ramifications (for instance, going on testosterone can increase the odds of certain cancers), fear of having to stop them once started (due to the political climate and little research into what will happen in those cases), or other more personal reasons. Some people who do or do not go on HRT choose not to have some or all of the gender-affirming surgeries as they are averse to the risks of elective surgery, are okay with some parts of their body remaining as they are, or for other more personal reasons. It is absolutely relevant that we allow transgender people to have the sorts of treatments they desire in order to stave off body dysmorphia – a feeling that the body, or parts of the body, are not a fit – as this is a source of depression, a reason for many suicide attempts, and just a terrible way to feel about one’s self.
Okay, so that’s transgender. What about non-binary and gender-queer? I thought that was a slur? A person who feels they are sometimes more masculine or more feminine, and changes things about themselves (their clothing, walk, style, etc.) on the fly can be considered to be gender-queer, meaning changeable from time to time – as frequently as several times a day and as infrequently as several times per month. Even cisgender people will say they may feel more masculine or feminine at times, although it is not as culturally acceptable for cisgender men to assert this in public due to toxic masculinity. Yes, queer can be a slur, when it refers to someone’s sexuality, and you should not assume that label of someone else, but if they say it of themselves, assume it means “flexible” or “fluid.” You may also hear the term “gender fluid” used interchangeably with “gender-queer.” However, a person who is non-binary considers themselves to be neither feminine nor masculine, but somewhere in between They may be more androgynous in nature, but not necessarily outwardly so, as it may be how they define themselves, while conforming to a more typical presentation.
Okay, that was a lot. I’m afraid to ask what intersex is. Ah, but ask, because asking is how we learn! “Intersex is an umbrella term used to describe a wide range of natural variations that affect genitals, gonads, hormones, chromosomes, or reproductive organs. Sometimes these characteristics are visible at birth, sometimes they appear at puberty, and sometimes they are not physically apparent at all.” Its intersex awareness day – here are 5 myths we need to shatter. Amnesty International. (2022, November 28). Retrieved March 28, 2023, from https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news/2018/10/its-intersex-awareness-day-here-are-5-myths-we-need-to-shatter/
It used to be, and likely still remains, that intersex children had their gender chosen by the doctor who delivered them and surgeries were recommended to the parents to make the body conform to what the doctor thought was most probable or most aesthetically pleasing. But it’s so much more complicated than that! Take for example, Persistent Mullerian Duct Syndrome (PMDS), a rare disease that occurs in cisgender men who have normal-looking and functioning genitalia, but also develop ovaries, and are only diagnosed when something goes wrong, requiring a scan. U.S. National Library of Medicine. (n.d.). Persistent müllerian duct syndrome: Medlineplus Genetics. MedlinePlus. Retrieved March 28, 2023, from https://medlineplus.gov/genetics/condition/persistent-mullerian-duct-syndrome/Learn more about intersex by viewing the video Intersexion.
ALL of those variations fall under the transgender label or umbrella in the LGBTQIA+ community (it’s the T part).
How much of a person’s preference that isn’t mine applies to me? You can be an ally by: using a person’s preferred pronouns – that’s a small ask – “I prefer to called she/her,” but putting your own pronouns on work/school documents like next to your name on an email signature or on Zoom. By the way, a person who is non-binary or gender-queer might go by “they/them, so you don’t have to ask their designation on a particular day, just call them by their name or refer to them as they. The use of the singular “they” is not grammatically incorrect, as stated by the APA style guidelines, it simply fell out of fashion for awhile, but language is living, and always changing and evolving.
But it’s a choice, right? Probably not. More and more research is showing that there are distinct differences between the physical brains of transgender people and the bodies they were assigned, so the brains of a person’s preferred gender more closely aligns with those of their cisgendered counterparts. Here is a study from 2008, another from 2018, another from 2013, and I’m certain more will be forthcoming as technology continues to progress and there are more transgender people of all ages to study. There seems to be something about physiology that leads to the brain being in the wrong body; that’s not a choice!
But I’m unlikely to ever meet a transgender person, right? You probably have. Have you ever met a redhead? Intersex people are more common than redheads, you just don’t see it like you do hair color. This study from 2016 discusses the prevalence of transgender populations, and this one from 2002 discusses the prevalence of intersex populations.
You care about someone who recently attempted suicide. What is your role now? How can you be supportive, helpful, and useful to them? Should you pretend it never happened, or follow up? Will talking about it make them more likely to try again? These are difficult waters to know how to navigate.
They’re experiencing a lot of feelings right now, and may not be able to ask for – or know – what they need. They may feel like a burden to others and feel unable or unwilling to ask for what they need. To get another perspective, here is an article for the attempter.
Be available as much as you can, and check in. The rate at which to do this depends on your existing relationship. Do what feels comfortable, and maybe 1/2 a step more. You are not expected to have a perfect solution or fix anything. Ask how they’re feeling, sleeping, eating, and what they’re thinking. Skip the platitudes like “everything happens for a reason” and “there must be a purpose you’re still here” as they feel hollow to receive and don’t create lasting change or connection.
Sort out your own feelings by talking to a therapist of your own, the family support staff at the hospital or agency where your loved one is being seen, or a trusted friend who will keep confidential what has happened. You can still lean on your loved one, but they can only give you back so much right now as they deal with their own stuff, so keep your portion lighter than theirs for the time being, but don’t withdraw, either, or be afraid to talk about some of your struggles. They likely don’t want interactions to feel phony, surface, or like others cannot be themselves – this can lead to guilt. If you have guilt, sort through it knowing that a person has to be at a personal low in order to make an attempt, and your part in that, if any, was only a part, and there are more pieces that created the depth of pain. Despite your curiosity, do your best to avoid asking them why they made the attempt as expressing the level of pain it took to try to escape it may be impossible to verbalize; do encourage them to discuss it in therapy, though any decent therapist will be exploring this.
Ask what you can do to help. This could be: making some meals and dropping them off to be heated up later, helping them get clothing or makeup to cover the healing wound, just sitting together, or checking in on them by text daily. Sometimes they want to be left alone, and if it is safe to do so, respect that request, and make the offer. Make plans for the future, something to look forward to – a restaurant you haven’t tried yet, a return to a fun activity, a small trip.
It’s okay to ask if they feel suicidal, or are having thoughts, urges, or a plan to kill themselves. Of course, making that every interaction would be annoying to anyone, but asking does not increase suicidality. You could also ask what the plan is if those feelings/thoughts return, and have a ready plan in place (mobile crisis unit, hospital, psychiatrist, therapist, who they will tell, if not you). It is relevant to know that suicidal thoughts are just thoughts, but urges and plans are more serious and safety actions can be mobilized at those later steps.
Be patient with them and with yourself as you each work through this. This part is going to suck for everyone. You’re enduring it together so you can all get through it.
Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Nevada, New York, and Virginia. Call 407-494-5280 for a consultation. Follow Clear Mind Group on Twitter & Facebook.
Is there an issue in your life that has become the focus? Does it consume all your energy and thoughts, even when you’re otherwise occupied? Does it feel like intrusive thoughts about the same thing all the time? You’re likely ruminating.
I’ve described ruminating as “sitting in a dirty puddle with a wet butt.” It doesn’t feel good. You don’t want it, but you keep doing it. I’m here to offer you a hand up and out of the puddle, to get dry again, to feel better, to reclaim your energy. You must place your mind and face in the direction you wish to be going in order to do it differently. This is an active process and a conscious act.
Ruminating is thinking of something negative that makes you feel bad. It’s all-consuming and colors the rest of your day and life with a grey-wash.
How do I stop ruminating? Read this article. Then keep making the conscious decision to stop. Like any practice, it starts out hard and gets easier as you go. You may consider starting therapy (or discussing this with your existing therapist) to help you reframe, break bad habits, have support, or think differently during this process.
You might also like a mantra to support you in not engaging in rumination. I like “It is done. Make good choices.” Dr. Greenberg uses “Stop doing the math.” Pick a short statement that makes sense to you and your situation.
Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Nevada, New York, and Virginia. Call 407-494-5280 for a consultation. Follow Clear Mind Group on Twitter & Facebook.
Short-Term Therapy 