I am one of the best gift givers most of my friends and family members know. I pay attention to the little details and give small, generally inexpensive, thoughtful gifts. I also give very few gifts, often a single item. This reduces waste and clutter, often re-purposing something from a thrift store or sale store into something unique and new, and leaves the recipient with no obligations to me or to display or use the gift. A gift, once given, is for the recipient to do with as they choose.
This holiday season, and going forward, I encourage you to use the Rule of 4 when giving to those that you would usually give abundantly. A child loves a pile of presents, but only plays with a few and it feels like a waste of time, money, energy, and storage to have such overkill. Give thoughtfully, and consider: Continue reading “Thoughtful Gift Giving”→
The holidays are full blown upon us. So much I have been forgetting to post here on my little blog…
Let me begin with I hope your holidays are wonderful- filled with smiles and laughter!
Let’s get real though, holidays tend to be slightly if not full blown stressful. How about some suggestions for managing that?
Schedule time for yourself FIRST!! We are all different in the down time we require, but we all require some down time. Schedule that FIRST before anything else. Schedule time to just read, crochet, meditate, what ever your down time requires.
Set a limit on your budget and stick to it as best you can. Believe me I get it. I have one child and I’d LOVE to spend tons of money on her this time of year; and her birthday falls in the realm of the holidays as well. I limit it though. We also have a set amount of what we spend on others and we stick to that as best we can too. (Yes I’m human, yes I break the rules sometimes too. It’s OK! Just stay out of bankruptcy when it comes to presents!!!)
This is a tad too late but one thing find that eliminates most of my holiday stress is getting the present shopping done EARLY. Yep my shopping is 95% done by November. I grab things as they go on sale and as I find them through out the year. You will NEVER catch me shopping on Black Friday. That’s land me on some serious psychiatric medications. I know it’s a fun thing for some but not me.
If there are some toxic relatives or friends that you will be around during the holidays limit your time with them. Keep conversations short and sweet. Keep actual face to face time short and sweet. Sometimes that means just move to another room and hang with someone else, sometimes that means shorten your time actually there.
As crazy as you may think this is…lower your expectations. Due to society, the media what ever we have this idea that the holidays are supposed to be perfect and amazing. Get real! We are spending holidays with people who have their own issues and those issues come right out when around others and let’s be real here many holidays come with alcohol. Alcohol doesn’t help either. Did you ever see that skit from Mad TV’s “Lowered Expectations?”
Watch what you eat and get some exercise. Seriously!! Food greatly effects our moods. And exercise creates endorphins. Endorphins make us feel better. Exercise relieves stress, less stress more tolerance for stress….it’s a win win. I possibly exercise more during the holidays than any other time. I get out and walk, if I’m out of town and there’s an in-door pool at the hotel I swim laps. I get my kiddo out with me too.
That being said get outside if it’s possible!! Pet your pets. Take the dog for a walk….
There ya go…some things to ponder.
So Be Well, be Joyful!
Tara S. Dickherber, LPC
Contact Tara for a consultation at 573-754-0348. Read more at her Blog and follow her on Facebook.
Autumn Hahn is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist practicing at Clear Mind Group in Weston, Florida. Call 954-612-9553 for a consultation. Follow Autumn on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+. Sign up for the e-newsletter HERE.
When we make something important we attach meaning and value to it. Often, this leads to problems. Let’s say you feel it is important to work on your thesis, to exercise, or to spend time with your kids. What if that doesn’t happen today? What if you get bogged down with other stuff and it just gets missed? In steps guilt. Guilt is how primitive mind communicates “hurry up and do that now” even when there’s a timing glitch of “there’s nothing to do because that time has passed.”
So the next day,you assign even more importance to the thing. You say “today will be different because I really need to do…” whatever it was. So today comes and you spend energy thinking about that important thing. You think about doing it, but you don’t do it.
I’ve been going through a depressive episode for some months now. I’m taking antidepressants because it feels chemical, like PMS, as symptoms come on in waves. I’ve been steadily seeing my doctor and we have upped my dosage once, about a month ago. It feels relatively stable, or it did, until the election, which put me into somewhat of a tailspin.
This morning, I was watching Netflix, and began to feel as if I could not get enough breath. I knew, logically, that I was breathing and was fine. But the underlying feeling of despondency was giving me that physical feeling. It felt different than anxiety (and I’ve had just 2 panic attacks in my life time), but had similar features.
In September, 2013, Inc. Magazine‘s Jessica Bruder discusses the issues that entrepreneurs face with regard to mental illness. They often suffer from depression, anxiety, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), or bipolar disorder. Entrepreneurs are often swept up in new ideas and bouts of creativity that are actually mania or can mirror the symptoms of mania or hypomania. When followed by doubt in their business or product, failure to see growth, failure to make certain incomes, or not achieving certain markers of success, there can be depressive feelings. If these phases cycle, it can mimic bipolar disorder, or be an expression of bipolar disorder. Anxiety is often found in the entrepreneur as he/she worries about product launch, deadlines, and if the business is “good enough” to be a hit. The tendency to jump form one part of the project to the next is often a marker for ADHD and adults with ADHD will gravitate toward work that allows them to function in time with their brain chemistry. Continue reading “Entrepreneurs face Anxiety, Fear”→
Entrepreneurs are faced with stressors that are uncommon among the rest of society. There is an ebb and flow of fear and excitement, worry about project failure and success, a feeling of being an impostor, anxiety over being in over your head, self-assuredness and self-doubt.
When explained to a 9 to 5 employee, these things make no sense as a pattern for every day living. People will wonder if you’re crazy for this emotional roller coaster – and so will you. It only makes sense that those who are up late and up early with ideas, who are perceiving the pressures of time and deadlines differently will be seen as different. You even see yourself as different.
When I meet someone new, inevitably, they ask “What do you do for a living?” There’s always a moment of awkward silence where I figure out what to state first – usually whatever has the newest project happening or what I think will resonate with the listener. My friends always laugh in that pause because they know there’s a litany of answers coming. My husband says he has the same pause when people ask “What does your wife do? Is she in software, too?” My husband has a 9-5 job, just one, but is also co-owner of our board game business.
One morning, I covered for a colleague who does talk therapy while that therapist was out on vacation. The clients cannot be rescheduled as they are court mandated to attend. I had an hour with a client whom I had never met, and thus had no rapport to begin with; we were starting as strangers. Having covered this population for the colleague previously, I expected that she would merely want to chat the hour down and get her credit for being where she needed to be; but I was wrong.
I introduced myself and asked if she had anything she wanted to get done or just wanted to kill down the clock. She said “actually, there is something.” “Oh, great! What’s up?” She discussed her feelings of guilt and shame over having been away from her children while incarcerated and feeling somewhat removed from them now that she was back in their lives. Continue reading “40 Minute Guilt Session”→
HIPAA is the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act and is what is in place to keep mental health professionals from discussing cases.
Ethical therapists like myself take this seriously. Things that are private:
The fact that you are a client.
Particulars of a case.
Particulars of a client.
Length or type of services.
Identifying information such as name, location, or details that may identify a client.
Ethical therapist can discuss a case with their peers without their peers having any clue as to whom the case is about. The less details given, the better. Only the details needed to get help with a case are discussed, and a clear goal in the consultation is established.